🔵 How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child. Parenting in Argentina.

hi I'm Kelly Thomas welcome to and genius baby every week on interview leading expert to help you help your child reach their full potential so that your child can become all that they are born today today we're here with March 2009 psychologist and author of parenting books and her daughter Sofia Ches and author a book for children they will provide insight on how to rave an emotionally intelligent child so I am so thrilled to be am buona sera Argentina and I'm here with my husband and my two children I'm curious how would you describe the overall parenting philosophy here and in Argentina there are many different types of parenting I think we are a little after you when you were Authority we would we were too but then you went permissive you call it and we were still operative and now we are beginning to a lot of Lisa fell and all many kids sleep with their parents many kids keep their nappies until they are four or five or many kids use a pacifier and they're really big a lot of parents don't read books and they don't want to so these little books has like the little guidance about it like you can't feel like your child you can't think like him in the potty training it's I don't like this I must care about it and that's nice because the kids understand what they are feeling and their parents understand what the kids are feeling to that certain it's a you had mentioned like in America I know all my mom there's blogs and so me but people just read all the time about childhood development and what's right how do we do this it sound like people here don't really do a lot of reading on parents parenting and they cause yes we are beginning to well we are behind you we have a lot of vlogs now and many mothers are talking in those blogs and many people are asking question about the hands so people just go to their and or their parents to get information or Instagram to get impressions are some information okay many mothers like me tweet on Instagram overboard some post and then other mothers read it and the influence is like a it's nice I think it's like a community there that you couldn't go for guidance something if any way of reading the affluent says I prefer Instagram myself it's difficult to choose the person you are following me that's and maybe I I find very people that are very confused because of things yeah it's great so can you tell me a little bit about the book that you've written yeah I first wrote this green book how to raise confident and strong kids because I saw the parents are always in a bad mood they want to go away from home they want to stay with the kids because their techniques for raising the children are not so good my parents knew what they were doing but I as a mother and my husband too had a lot of doubts and younger people have more doubts than I then I had I asked my mother mother what mom what do I do when this happens and now when small a younger people don't ask their mothers and that's why I could write my second book that is emotional intelligence in the sufferer family I think if we grew up with emotional intelligence we would know exactly what we have to do with our kids that's why I think emotional intelligence is a lot more important all the tips that I could give in all my other two books emotional intelligence means to make a synthesis of the best of authority of parenting that is to be firm and the best of permissive parenting that is to hear listen to your child if you can listen and be firm at the same time that will get your fabrics kids yeah so what giving some tips on that like how do you how can you be authoritative yet permissive at the same time you're not both of the same time you make a very good synthesis of both models you learn to listen as the permissive model does and you learned so to to be firm as a operative model does and that means a new model that means a intelligent emotionally intelligent raising it's like you have to understand what they're feeling and have them and help them cope with that and also you have to leave it with to their actions oh no I don't want to go to school oh that's not that's not nice I won't work III didn't want to go to school when I was a kid and so I embrace that feeling and then I said I tell him you have to go to school that's what we have to do but I understand you and that's the way you do it there's a big difference in the result of the way we talk when we first listen to it to the kid because when you listen to him maybe you will tell you yes you have to go to the bathroom or maybe yes you have to go to school but it won't be mad I always say that if kids get mad it doesn't matter what is really not good for for them is that we get mad and every time I try to see the world as the kid sees it I won't get mad because they're right when they want they don't want to put us at Olivia the TV and they're right when they want the very big Lego box instead of a very small Lego box that's what we can afford the new Naruto theories make very clear is children learn to listen if we listen to them that was not that way when I was a kid when I was a kid I had to listen because if I didn't listen I was in trouble so I learned to listen very straight but now we know that if you listen your kids all the time all the time they will listen to you and that's magic pure magic and you get a lot a lot less angry no and the other thing that's important it's that they are good so they can learn good if they're happy and confidence and and in a good mood and we can and she had a good morning with her parents then their school and their learning because they're not thinking about the things that they're worried about and that's the thing that it matters the most yeah to be happy what do you think is the number one concern the urgent time parents have I think it's discipline they don't want to be concerned about that but as they don't take care of the problem when the problem gets big they are really concerned and they come to see me how can I solve this problem my kid won't go to bed what do you think are the biggest mistakes the parents make sure the majority could be permissiveness but there's a quite a big group – that's still doing things – the retainer to Authority Authority yes yes both don't know what you need is it somewhere in the middle it's logical what was a reaction to the other one and now we have to go back to the middle the middle it's a very good I also wanted to talk about a little bit about how the children are raised here I'm curious you know for example that in America and you know here everyone goes out to dinner at 9 or 10 o'clock yeah my cousins or my husband's cousins that I want you and your kids come over at 9:00 for dinner like the kids are three important Mike well I guess you're usually in bed at the bed for them it was like a normal things I didn't know how people handled sleep because I think it's so important I don't know how how the babies are actually getting the sleep and when and what's different really different here is that I think we we have more emphasis in being happy doing things we like I think parents go out more we do more things at night but we have help here on many people can afford having help at night and so parents give up kids go to be babysitter's sleep at sleep at home or we can call it a sitter easily it's not so expensive as it is for you so parents sleep really little because they want to be freely unhappy and they gonna wake everybody away kids stay at home you won't see kids or not yes now because we're in holidays but usually you don't see kids by night okay restaurants I'm curious your stance on technology and how kids are you thinking technology especially at a really early age here yes I think that we are in love question we adults are in love with technology and we are being we are resulting very bad matters for our kids and we are resulting I am seeing mothers that don't pay attention to the kids because they are with their telephone in their hands and I'm worried about it I don't think it's only in Argentina maybe it's for real trial really it worries me because when we don't have we don't have guidance here and that's the point because you have a lot of theories and things that you have studied they are in a United State here like everything everyone does what everyone was really I said the television free for my kid and he wants to do whatever he wants to do so that's the point we don't put limits and so they are all the time watching TV because it's what they want and because they see us doing so so the real little even under three years older have the phones and they don't have it off the road but the parents give it like a pacifier today is a new pacifier it isn't if I get free babysitter I feel like a lot of parent like you were saying people aren't trying you know that you need to it's harder not to give it to them it's easier to carry young but it's harder but while you don't give it to him you help them in many other ways you have to solve problems in different ways and it's very important that they learn to solve problems in many different ways not only with here's a pacifier relationship the human relations the bond between us it's true we were today all day with our phones doing things because we had to work but it was I saw us and I was like why we're mother on a time we could talk about other things and we were like yeah answering questions and doing things on inner time yeah it was it is changing but it's not not enough years have passed so we don't know what will happen with these kids where they grow up they haven't grown up to yet where can people go for more information on some of your research and yes we have our books as ebooks in Spanish for the for the time for a moment Instagram money to say don't go into paradise Eric's story's Facebook – and and a webpage great well thank you so much for coming and giving insight as that I think it's just really fascinating to just talk to people all over the world about you know views on parenting and what they're doing what works and thank you for voting yes yeah yeah so very happy thank you if you know someone who'd be a great fit for the show come on over to Ongina baby calm and share your tips and story ideas you are your baby's first and best teacher you

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