10 Things I Wish People Would Have Told Me When I Was Pregnant: PART TWO

6. It’s a different kind of love.  People used to tell me “Just wait. When you have that baby, you’ll love it more than your husband.”  It scared me, honestly.  I didn’t want to love anyone more than my husband.  What they were saying is false.  I don’t love my kids more than my husband, but I also don’t love my husband more than my kids.  It’s a completely different kind of love.  You love your kids no matter what.  That’s why it’s called “unconditional love”; however, you love your husband more than you loved him before you had kids because you see what the two of you are capable of…bringing life into the world.  It’s an unbelievable thing.  You’ll love both your kids and your husband an extreme amount, but in different ways.

7.  Everyone loves giving pregnant women advice; don’t listen to most of it. I once had a lady tell me that because I didn’t find out the sex of my baby, I couldn’t love my baby.  At 36 weeks pregnant, I wanted to slap that lady.  How dare someone tell me that I didn’t love my baby the past 8 months because I didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl?  Her reasoning was that you love sons and daughters differently so I couldn’t possibly love my baby correctly if I didn’t find out its gender.  What was she trying to accomplish by telling me that? Can you imagine that phone call to my OB’s office? “I know I didn’t want to know my baby’s gender four months ago at my ultrasound, but now I do because I’m not sure if I love it.”

8.  Breastfeeding isn’t always a ‘wonderful bonding experience.’  I hated breastfeeding.  I’ll admit it.  I didn’t feel like I was bonding with my baby at all, and that doesn’t mean I didn’t love my baby.  I did not enjoy nursing, but I sucked it up and breastfed both of my babies for six months each.  I counted down everyday until their half-year ‘birthday’ arrived and quit cold turkey.  I didn’t feel guilty or sad after stopping either.  I felt proud that even though I hated the whole experience, I prioritized my babies’ needs before my own.

9.  Labor is not always a chaotic, ‘Honey, it’s time!’ kind of moment.  I do not know what it is like to go into labor naturally.  I was induced at the end of both of my pregnancies.  Both times, I showered, did my hair, put on make up, and calmly drove to the hospital with my husband.  I checked it, got weighed, and set up my room as if I was at a five star hotel.  I cracked jokes with my husband and made plans for the first meal I wanted after delivery.  Both of my labor experiences were like this.  Part of me feels like I’m missing out on the big, theatrical, hectic moment of being awoken with wet sheets while timing contractions, but the other part of me likes knowing when to shave my legs before I have to go to the hospital.

10.  Milk it. Strangers love pregnant women.  My sister always jokes that she loves running errands with me when I’m pregnant because people hold doors for us, let us cut in line at Starbucks, and just want to make small talk.  Frankly, people are just nicer to pregnant women.  It’s a ‘pay it forward’ mentality that takes over.  We wouldn’t be here if our mothers didn’t carry us for 9 months.  People get that.  You have to take care of pregnant women, because don’t you hope that someone held the door for your mom when she was pregnant with you?  My husband and I were traveling when I was 6 months pregnant with Jack and we had to run through the Detroit airport to catch our connecting flight home.  Well, I couldn’t run: A. because I had to pee so badly if I starting running, I would pee my pants, and B.  I was carrying a cantaloupe in my uterus. So, I sent my husband sprinting through the terminal to hold the flight.  The attendant at the gate started giving my husband trouble saying, “You need to tell your wife to hurry.” “How far behind is she?” “We need to close the gate, sir.” My husband didn’t get a chance to explain my situation, but soon enough I came around the corner –  huge belly and all. As soon as the attendant saw me, her face turned bright red.  NO ONE tells a pregnant lady she needs to “hurry.” She was very apologetic and understanding while walking us down the gateway to board the plane.  People have a certain understanding and compassion for pregnant women (as they should); use it to your advantage when you can.


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